Saturday, September 3rd, 2005

My Grandfathers Funeral

This day was very hard for me. When we got here on Tuesday, I was all good. Wednesday, the kids, Gaurav, Karen and I went to Playland and spent time there for the day. Mom and Dad went to Biji and Bouji's house to clean it up. Thursday, I can't remember what we did, Friday Gaurav and I spent with my cousin Arun. We walked around and had sushi for lunch, came back to 109th to Trilok Chachaji's place and then just spent some time with my Mom and Dad. Went for dinner with them all and Chander Chachaji and Karen. We had to go to bed early on Friday so that we could be up and ready for Saturday.

Saturday

We got up had some breakfast (had a small bun and half a glass of milk) and then we went to get the funeral parler ready. Put up pictures, arrange flowers, etc. I started to cry the minute I got in there. It was very hard. I told about 3 people that I didn't want my picture taken. They did take some pictures for my aunt in India as she couldn't be there for the funeral.

There was one time when my uncle gave me a hug and said to me, "You know that Bouji loved you, right?" I said yes I know. At that time the one camera man came over and started to record me and I yelled at him that I didn't want my picture taken. Chachaji got mad at me and said that I shouldn't make a scene. I said this wasn't a gong show and that I didn't need my picture taken for anything.

I didn't look at the body. I have pictures of my grandfather in my head and in my heart that I don't need to see a dead body of him. Its not something that I want to see ever. Doesn't matter who it is. My dad helped me to go to Bouji so I could touch his feet before he goes for good. At that point in time it was hard for me to handle. His body was hard from death. At this point I started to hyperventalate and dry heaving at the same time. It's very hard to live with. Death and feeling the body of a loved one that has passed over.

It was really hard to say anything about my grandfather. I kind of wrote it all in the car ride over. I was able to get it out without being a crying mess. My tribute.
"My Grandfather had a great mind. When he came to stay with us in Calgary, he would read books all the time and afterwards, he would tell us all what he had learnt.
When we played cards, we all had our stategies. As we all know from last year, Biji cheated, Gaurav and I played by fluke, and Bouji had the best strategy. He counted cards. We should have taken Bouji to Las Vagas.... I'm sure we could have made a lot of money from Bouji.
Bouji was my last grandparent left. I love him and I will miss him a great deal."


This post has taken me the longest to write. It is not the complete account of what happened, as the rest will stay in my mind and in my heart. I hope that each and every one of you all know that you are special to me. I may not say it enough, but know that it is in my heart.