Respect

To respect a person is not possible without knowing him; care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by knowledge. Erich Fromm

What Respect Is

Respect can mean a lot of different things. On a practical level it seems to include taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration. We could also say it means taking all of these seriously and giving them worth and value. In fact, giving someone respect seems similar to valuing them and their thoughts, feelings, etc. It also seems to include acknowledging them, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality.

Respect can be shown through behavior and it can be felt. We can act in ways which are considered respectful, yet we can also feel respect for someone and feel respected by someone. Because it is possible to act in ways that do not reflect how we really feel, the feeling of respect is more important than the behavior without the feeling. When the feeling is there, the behavior will naturally follow.

Why is Respect Important

There is a value to respect which money cannot buy. Though someone's life might not depend on it, there are many times when another person has the chance to make a personal decision or a judgment call. When that person feels sincere respect for someone else, they will make a different decision than if they feel no respect, even if they have customarily shown a false, pseudo-respect to the person.

We can all sense whether we are respected or not. This holds true for those with money and power as well. It is quite possible that those who pursue money and power are actually trying to gain a type of respect that they never have truly felt. When we are respected we gain the voluntary cooperation of people.

Respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs. Here are ways to show respect for someone's feelings:
Ø Asking them how they feel
Ø Validating their feelings
Ø Empathizing with them
Ø Seeking understanding of their feelings
Ø Taking their feelings into consideration

You know with all this said and done, it’s hard to feel respected when others don’t show you that respect. So what makes us feel like we are not respected? Many things, here are a few that make me feel like I’m not being respected by those around me.

Ø My QUESTIONS not being answered
Ø Being ignored
Ø Being judged or rejected
Ø Not being listened to
Ø Being lied to
Ø Not being cared about
Ø Being under-estimated
Ø Not being taken seriously or my feelings or my dreams being taken seriously

These are just a few of the ways that people make me feel un-respected. So what am I going to do about this? I have to take care of my self. I have to take those people out of my life that are hurting me and are not respecting me.

This realization on my part, has come at a hurtful time for me. I have come to realize that I am a respectful person to others. I deserve respect if I give respect.

Can you say that you show respect for those around you or even for me?